Welcome to my writing pages! The main focus of this website is to offer writing tips, prompts, and inspiration to writers, no matter what their genre or skill level. You’ll also find information on my published works and the ones in progress. My schedule for posting is:
Monday Sparks: Writing prompts to fan your creative flame.
This month, the theme for my blog is writing using the senses, and I’m starting with using sound in our stories. Sound is probably the most used sense after sight, and I find I rely on it a lot. Below are some tips on using sound in our stories.
How Do Characters Sound?
For some reason, the quality of a person’s voice catches my attention. An unusually deep voice for a man. A high, piping voice in a child. When writing dialogue, I like to incorporate how a character sounds, if it aids readers in imaging that character. Here are some ways I use sound for characters in my Rae Riley Mysteries.
My main character Rae Riley has a slight Southern accent, which is noticeable now that she lives in Ohio.
Her friend Houston, who’s originally from Texas, speaks with that accent in a drawl.
Her boss Barb speaks in a “crisp clip” when talking to someone she doesn’t like.
Mal, Rae’s dad, has a voice that is a “penetrating” or “booming baritone”.
Rae’s great-grandfather Walter has a “harsh voice … so deep it seemed to echo in his throat.”
Sounds Add Suspense
One reason sounds add suspense is that, as beings who rely primarily on sight, hearing something only, depending on the setting, can be scary. At the climax of A Storm of Doubts, Rae is caught in a storm at night. She has to rely on what she hears far more than what she sees, adding to the suspense. (I’d tell you more, but a ruined mystery is one of the saddest stories there is, and my publisher would not be pleased.)
Quiet Heightens Importance
I learned this technique from an old movie called The Uninvited from 1944. A brother and sister buy a home on the English coast that’s stood empty for 15 years. After they move in, they experience weird happenings and conclude two ghosts haunt their home. They dig into the past to discover why.
In one scene, the local doctor is flipping through the personal journals of the late doctor from whom he bought the practice. A journal entry reveals that the late doctor suspected a respectable nurse, who now owns a successful health retreat, let a patient die. There’s a moment of quiet as the local doctor, the brother and sister, as well as the audience, absorb the enormity of this fact. It lasts a couple of seconds, and then the housekeeper intrudes with a telephone message.
I wrote the literary equivalent of that scene in Storm. A woman has disappeared from the rural Ohio county where Rae lives with Mal, who is the sheriff. They are discussing the case with Mal’s sister, Carrie, a private investigator. Carrie thinks it’s possible the missing woman is dead.
Dad gave her a steady gaze. “That seems more likely with each passing day.”
Micah’s and Gram’s muffled voices drifted through the floor as I clutched myself and the harsh light picked out the concern on their faces.
I like using a normal sound like a muffled discussion between family members as a counterpoint to something as awful as the disappearance and death of this woman.
Writers, how to you use sound in your stories? Readers, what book uses sounds well?
My last photo prompt for this month’s theme of beginnings is to write the first lines for this scene from the point of view of one of the people in the photo. Whom do you choose? The woman? The young man beside her or the one with a satchel? Here’s my inspiration:
I started as a young guy with a mask slipped his arm around my waist. “Pretend you know me.” He whispered. “It’s a matter of life and death.”
Mine or his?
I pulled away, but his dark eyes above the mask caught mine. They didn’t look like they belonged to a creep on the hunt. They looked scared.
Always a pleasure to introduce a new author at JPC Allen Writes. Kim Garee is a member of my local chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers and a fellow Buckeye. Her debut novel, Pressed Together, is historical fiction, set in rural Ohio right after World War II. When Kim told me the agonies she was having with her next book, I knew exactly what she meant, and I’m glad to share her post “Beginning Again: Starting the Next Draft”
A story captures my imagination, and putting it down on paper is exhilarating! It moves from my head to the page in a mixture of magic and sweat.
Not incidentally, my first novel launches next week! Its sequel, due to release in December, just became a complete first draft as of last week, and both of these milestones have me thinking about beginnings.
We always hear there are as many ways to begin a novel as there are writers. Lately, I’ve had the chance to consider, for the first time, whether the same might be true for the second draft (i.e., revisiting the gory scene of the first draft splatter).
One might suppose, with my first book on shelves in a week, that I’ve walked the Second Draft Path at least once. This is where I’m a little odd, though, and it’s okay to be appalled by this next confession. See, I wrote the first draft of Pressed Together roughly fifteen years ago, printed it to proofread, remembered I had zero connections in book publishing, and put the manuscript away. For years.
When the story haunted me, I dragged it out again and reread that first draft and, predictably, said, “Oh, no. This won’t do. I can do much better now.” So, I opened a blank document and wrote the novel all over again, from scratch. That’s right. I did that.
Then, I did it again a few years later, after it had once more gathered cyber dust. I actually opened a new doc and wrote it all over again. No edits to an existing doc like a sane person but, instead, re-birthing the entire plot.
Long story (stories) short, it’s being published now. All’s well that ends well, right?
Wrong.
Now, I have a brand new first draft of the sequel, and it needs revision. This time, I do not have the luxury of years to indulge my creative eccentricity. This time, I have a very real deadline. I have to edit the thing.
I suppose I never know what’s going to work for me until I jump in. I’ve heard some good advice from other veterans, like:
Save the first draft as its own copy so you don’t feel squeamish about deleting large passages you might regret losing later.
Read for “big” things, not line edits, this time through. Are characters and settings consistent? Are the scenes doing what they’re supposed to?
I’d really love to hear from other writers about approaching that second draft. In the spirit of exchange, I’ll share this little strategy that I think is working surprisingly well for me the last couple of days. I’ve been taking long, boring walks in the woods with my Voice Memo app open on my phone. I’ve been thinking through the story, wondering how things are proceeding from the perspective of different characters. As I have a realization of something that needs to be eliminated or beefed up in this next draft, I simply mumble it into my phone.
What I have now are dozens of fragmented, crazy voice memos that sound like, “Don’t forget, kids would be ice skating on the Little Lake in that second-to-last scene.” These breathless memos are accompanied by the sound of squeaky hiking boots and crunching leaves.
Now I’m typing these little epiphanies ahead of the chapters to which they relate, and then I’ll at least tackle the next draft with those big picture reminders in place.
Anyway, here’s to resisting the urge to open another brand-new doc, and here’s to beginning again. What’s it look like for you?
Pressed Together (Book 1 of the Together Series) Blurb:
World War II is over at last, and the pier amusement park at Buckeye Lake, the “Playground of Ohio,” is lit up, loud, and ready to welcome a summer of better days. The energy of dance hall and roller coaster, though, is disorienting for Sgt. Drew Mathison, weary from battle and trying to track down the one man who can testify in his brother’s murder trial.
He’s not in the mood to celebrate when he simply cannot find that witness. Especially when he suspects Emily Graham, publisher of the Buckeye Lake Beacon, is hiding him. Doesn’t she understand the danger the fugitive has brought to Buckeye Lake?
Determined to save her childhood friend, the beautiful and quirky young woman manages to frustrate not just Drew but her family and community as she tries to fix a whole host of problems by herself.
As Drew and Emily square off amidst secrets and a dangerous game of hide-and-seek, falling in love might be the only way to save the summer … and another life.
*****
Kim Garee worked as a newspaper reporter before going into education. Now she’s a 6-12 school librarian and has been married to her husband, a high school principal, for twenty-six years. The couple has three grown children and three grown pets. Kim is also a portrait artist and miniature enthusiast who will hike and bike with anyone willing to go with her. She welcomes connections at www.kimgaree.com. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
How would you start a story with this photo? You could write from the POV of the man or woman. Since this photo was taken at a distance, as if someone was viewing them from several feet or yards away, I’m going to start the story from that person’s POV.
*****
At least this morning the Snipes weren’t sniping. Although their silence as they picked at their breakfast on the patio outside their cottage might not have been an improvement.
I stepped into the recently vacated cottage two doors down from the Snipes’ cottage, picked up the bundle of sheets, stepped outside to my cart, and dumped the load in.
They still weren’t talking. Mr. Snipe–actually Mr. Farrell–stared at the woods that lined the bottom of the hill and the lake. Mrs Snipe hadn’t lifted her head from her phone, that I’d seen. But I’d been in and out of cottages with my sister because Mom expected quick turn arounds when cleaning them for the next guests.
Mr. Snipe leaned across the table and murmured something.
Mrs. Snipe jerked her gaze from her phone.
Standing, Mr. Snipe glanced around and then in my direction.
I snatched up the first bottle in my cart and ducked into the empty cottage. Mom didn’t need Mr Snipe to complain about nosy maids. He’d gone out of his way to find things to complain about already.
After a decent interval, I returned to my cart.
Mrs. Snipe still sat at the table, her sunglasses pushed into her hair. Her wide eyes stared, unseeing, Terrified.
*****
Your turn. What are your ideas or first lines for starting a story with this photo?
Although there are as many ways to start a story, whether it’s flash fiction or a novel, as there are writers, I think the key to starting any story is to ground it. What does grounding it mean? I means that, as quickly as you can, drop in information about the who, what, when, and where of your scene. If you get these basics on the page at the beginning, readers know how to orient themselves in the story and are ready to follow the development of it.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be mysterious. In fact, if you include the why and how of a scene at the beginning, your readers are likely to be bored because you’ve told them the point of the scene before they can read it. But there’s a fine line between being mysterious and confusing. Below are some examples of the key to starting any story.
“The Cloak” by Robert Bloch–short story
“The sun was dying, and its blood spattered the sky as it crept into a sepulcher behind the hills. The keening winds sent the dry, fallen leaves scurrying towards the west, as though hastening them to the funeral of the sun.
“‘Nuts!’ said Henderson to himself, and stopped thinking.
“The sun was setting in a dingy red sky, and a dirty raw wind was kicking up the half-rotten leaves in a filthy gutter. Why should he waste time with cheap imagery?
“‘Nuts!’ said Henderson again.
“It was probably a mood evoked by the day, he mused. After all, this was the sunset of Halloween. Tonight was the dreaded All Hallows Eve, when spirits walked in and skulls cried out from their graves beneath the earth.
“Either that, or tonight was just another rotten cold fall day. Henderson sighed.”
Who: Henderson
When: Halloween. The word “Nuts” indicates mid-20th century America
Where: Probably American from the word “Nuts” and the reference to Halloween
What: It takes a few more paragraphs, but readers discover Henderson is looking for a costume shop, and this hunt launches the story.
The Time Machine by H. G. Wells–novel
“The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us. His grey eyes shone and twinkled, and his usually pale face was flushed and animated. The fire burned brightly, and the soft radiance of the incandescent light in the lilies of sliver caught the bubbles that flashed and passed in our glasses. Our chairs, being his patents, embraced and caressed us rather than submitted to be sat upon, and there was that luxurious after-dinner atmosphere when thought runs gracefully free of the trammels of precision.”
Who: The Time Traveller
When: The diction and the way the after dinner atmosphere is described sounds like late 19th or early 20th century.
Where: The Time Traveller’s house, because of the reference to the chairs he made for his guests.
What: Friends of the Time Traveller, and the narrator is one of them, are relaxing with drinks after a meal he has served them
In the next paragraph, the Time Traveller begins his discussion of dimensions and time travel, so in two paragraphs readers know the basics of the scene and the problem that will be presented.
“Bovine” by JPC Allen–short story
“Yes. Yes.
“I scanned the miniscule living room. The mixture of search and destruction was quite similar to that found in the apartment of my agent after his robbery three years ago.
“Seat cushions, some ripped open, lay scattered on the hardwood floor with tossed books interspersed among them. Lamps overturned. A glass-topped table shattered.
“I inhaled deeply.
“Odd. I hadn’t expected staging a crime scene to bring out the artist in me. Although all my efforts were probably wasted on the audience for which I had prepared it.
“The reason I’d asked Sara to stay at her writer’s retreat for a few weeks was because law enforcement in such a forsaken county of this forsaken state had to be mediocre at best. From what I had learned through my research of the police presence in Marlin County, Ohio, the officers could trip over a body with a suicide note pinned to the shirt and still mull over the possibility of murder.”
Who: Unnamed male narrator who is an artist of some kind and a snob
When: Probably contemporary
Where: A writer friend’s retreat in Marlin County, Ohio
What: Staging a crime scene
The narrator’s motives for staging a the scene are unknown to readers. But even though they are in the dark about what the character is up to, readers do understand what is taking place and are getting a sense of who is narrating, so they can imagine the scene and follow the story.
What are some of your favorite opening scenes? Put the first lines in the comments
